My Friend

To preclude any misunderstandings, when I refer to "my friend" I am referring to my wife of 45 years. I use the term "my friend" in a loving, tongue-in-cheek sense. I learned to refer to her that way from a former boss and friend who always referred to his wife that way. It seemed to me a more interesting way to refer to a person who is truly a friend not "just" a wife.

My friend makes friends easily. In the 45 years that we have been married we have lived in a number of places due to my military career. Everywhere we went she made friends. Some were neighbors, some were mine or her office mates and their spouses, some she met through various social activities, and some she met through sports. With some we were associated only for a relatively short period of time - a couple of years. Of course, there also were some school friends, neighbors, sports friends, and friends from work from before my friend and I ever met.

With some of the friends we have closer contact than with others. But to fit into the category of "friend" as used in this writing, at least a Christmas greeting (not just a card, but a letter - hand written, of course) is required. Some also get birthday greetings if the date has been revealed. And that for as long as an address of a friend is known and the contact has not ended because the friend hasn't responded in a long time and it is presumed that interest in the friendship, on the friend's part, has waned. With some there is more frequent contact by telephone and lately using e-mail.

There are several friends - some near, some far - who receive what I call "long distance therapy," which usually consists of lengthy telephone calls during which the friend on the other end (exclusively female) unburdens herself of all her woes - marital, medical, or otherwise - and my friend mainly just listens and occasionally interjects thoughtful questions or makes sympathetic comments of encouragement. One would think that one would become saturated with other people's problems - not my friend.

A few years ago we started spending our summers on Cape Cod. Because my friend is an avid sportswoman who loves to play tennis, among other things, she started to play tennis at the local public park where a group of tennis players our age, approximately, gathers to play every morning. Before I knew it we were invited to another tennis player's birthday party at the local yacht club, to a number of backyard parties, and were asked to join a select group of players to spend two weeks in Portugal for tennis, sight seeing, and dining.

Due to her charming personality my friend is like a magnet when it comes to making friends. Luckily I happened to get in the way of that magnet 45 years ago, that's why I call her "my friend."