Sunday, February 7, 2010

Waiting for Death


I'm not depressed. But, it occurred to me that I spend most of my time waiting for something: something to happen, something to begin, something to end, something to change, etc.

As a child I waited for First Grade to start. Then, as I was going to school, each day I waited for the bell that ended the school day. I waited for school to end in the summer. I waited for test results and report cards. I waited for graduation to come around. Life in the military has been described as "hurry up and wait." I spent over 20 years "hurrying up and waiting." I have waited for promotions, paydays, results of medical examinations, the day on which I would return home from an assignment, a shift to end, happy hour to start, and TGIF to roll around. I have waited for children and grandchildren to be born, for the dog to be housebroken, or the garbage collector's strike to end. I waited for the car to be serviced, the telephone or the cable man to arrive.

I waited for retirement. Now, every day I wait for the coffee to finish brewing, the mailman to come, the newspaper to be delivered, lunch and supper to be served, happy hour to start, and TGIF to roll around. Although, if you don't have to go to work, both happy hour and TGIF lose much of their meaning - during retirement it is never quitting time nor do you ever get a day off.

I'm not depressed, I'm just thinking about what all this waiting for something to happen means. If you look at it from a different level, am I not just waiting for death?

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